Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Christmas shopping makes me crazy!

 
My dog Susie says

Frankenstein meets the Cabbage Patch Dolls

Sandy decided to take me for a long ride in her new car that had a lot of electronic devices built inside. She first punched in some coordinates of where we were going, then a strange voice started talking to her. "Turn here, go 150 yards," etc.... ad nausea. Her cell phone rang and she pulled over to the side of the road. Talking to it briefly, she seemed confused because the other voice still coming from the dashboard was constantly giving more driving commands. Back on the road, she turned on the radio and started talking to it and telling the radio which music stations she wanted to listen to. I kept looking in the back seat to see if there was another rider with us but to no avail. Sandy wasn't talking to me because I can't talk back... yet, but instead speaking to cold dead non-living devices. I don't think she's going totally crazy, but it seemed somewhat scary and funny at the same time.

We ended up at a big shopping mall to do some Christmas shopping. In a toy store she bought some doggy toys for moi and some dolls for the neighbor's children. On a loudspeaker in the mall, different voices were telling everyone where to go for the bargains. People were singing strange songs about a fat guy in a red suit. Back in the car, she opened up a fake kitty cat for me to play with. When I lightly punched it, the dang cat started meowing and purring. Freaked me out! I had to toss it in the back seat. At a stop light, Sandy then dug into her shopping bag and pulled out a cloth doll. It started crying and laughing and whimpering and saying Momma. Freaked me out again!

Since I'm only three, I was wondering if it was always like this. Voices, music and talking, talking, talking, everywhere one goes. After a half-day of shopping with Sandy, I just wanted the quiet peacefulness of my forests and lakes. I wonder if all the other critters living in the woods know about civilization and how many hidden mysterious people talk at once...all the time. Seems discourteous to me, but what do I know? I'm just a Border Collie; smarter than your average dog and all cats..

Sandy suddenly decided that with all the money she'd spent, she better call the bank and make sure she's not broke. So she grabbed her new iPhone from some fruit company, and started talking to some robot assistant named Siri. Soon she was connected to her bank. Then a metallic voice started asking questions and connecting her to one department after another after another. She never talked to a human being only these robot voices who made Sandy mad. Not paying attention, she ran a red light(she said it was yellow) and suddenly there was a blinding flash-bulb. Thank goodness there weren't any cars around, but Sandy was still very upset. She moaned and muttered about the electronic device taking her picture and that she'd end up with a traffic ticket! Don't they use real cops anymore for tickets?

So our fun outing began with an electronic map telling us where to go, and ended with an electronic camera showing us, it was going to be a much more expensive day than we planned.

Sandy sighed and said, "I thought it was 2011 and not 1984!"

Catch you later,

Susie & Sandy

P.S. When Benjamin Franklin flew his kite and discovered electricity and Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, I wonder if they ever thought electronic machines and humans might eventually become joined together.... like a Frankenstein or the Terminator?